Seth Godin published a little book in 2011 called We Are All Weird. Click on the title to read an excerpt.
You’ve really got to think hard about this:
Being normal is based on what the average person does, through conformity.
Following this logic, I am, therefore, far from normal. Not in every way but in many ways. But I’ve known this since I was a kid. Most of us so called “weird” ones have been OK with our standing. We know we’re different. But there are many who are still learning to accept their differences and with every ounce of their being resist their nature and struggle to fit in or to be “normal-like-everyone-else”. I would like to encourage everyone to be true to who you are, not who you think you should be; there is a difference.
Let’s talk about food for an example.
On occasion people say this phrase to me: “Well, you’ve got to live!” Often in reference to doing things that they know that they shouldn’t be doing; for instance consuming certain foods or drinks.
Since when, why and how did engaging in risky behavior equate living? And why is it so often about consuming substances? Is it that charge of adrenaline that is so titillating – oh, how it wakes us up like we have never been awake before and bang! we feel alive. Again, let’s do it again, but let’s push the envelope a little further this time. It is a heavy question with reasoning that could fill the infinite scroll down potential of any blog. I think the adrenaline rush associated with extreme sport is a little different from the rush derived from consuming substances, but they straddle the same hemisphere. So if you will, allow me to ramble for a minute.
At a restaurant, about sixteen years ago, when I was just dating my husband, he said to me, “If I’m going to risk my life why would I choose to do so by doing something as unadventurous as eating mussels?” I fear, most people are ignorant of the toxins present in the foods or drinks they choose to consume. Some restaurants actually have a disclaimer on the menu where items such as mussels, clams and raw oysters are served.
I am very aware that how I conduct myself is not the norm. The fact that I feel like I am “living” everyday without sacrificing anything, would categorize me once again as weird.
Definition of Sacrifice:
“an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy. We must all be prepared to make sacrifices.”
Ah…sacrifice. It is such an interesting word, such an interesting feeling. It has been a long road of learning, but I can honestly say that I am at such a place where sacrifice does not exist. There is nothing that I would have to give up to be where I am. I make time to focus and take care of myself everyday because that is where I want to be. I eat well all the time because I want to – because it makes me feel great; and because really, for me there is no alternative.
It seems to be more difficult for others to accept that I have accepted that celebration and reward does NOT come in the form of food or alcohol or excess. I am right where I should be and continue to learn more about my body, mind and health each day. I have chosen to represent this sentiment with a photograph of a bee in flight, just approaching a flowering chive. Why? Because bees have focus and it seems to me like they enjoy what they do. It comes down to perspective.
I choose not to eat or drink anything that disagrees with my system. I choose not to eat or drink anything just to please a host or because it was a gift. The story of The Hungry Coat: A Tale from Turkey comes to mind when I think about this, because one thought always leads to another.
I won’t finish off something just to prevent it from going to waste. Forcing food to go through my body before it becomes garbage is no different than just throwing it away in the first place. Both are equally wasteful, but the former causes bodily harm. Better to learn not to prepare so much or order so much food. It is OK to have leftovers…I rely on them.
We can choose to make a thoughtful, informed choice or we can choose to sacrifice. In the end we have still made a choice. If we are going to bother to choose, shouldn’t we choose wisely?
“You can choose a ready guide in some celestial voice.
If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
You can choose from phantom fears and kindness that can kill;
I will choose a path that’s clear-
I will choose Free Will.”
~Rush the Band, Freewill
But clearly, weird is subjective. I think it is pretty weird to consume things that are known toxins, which contribute to lowering life expectancy, have potential side effects, which may contribute to birth defects, known diseases and cancer. And yet in the normal universe, which is parallel to my weird universe, this is considered living, by letting loose and not being so serious.
“I want to be normal!” – not me, thanks.
Just about everyone wants to be normal. Kids want to be normal; they want to fit in. They learn it at a young age. If they don’t conform they will be excluded.
“Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone…
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out…
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out…”– Rush the Band, Subdivisions
They want to be able to eat or drink what everyone else does without thinking about the after effects or repercussions; they want to live in the moment. They want to live.
A few years ago when my husband and I were hosting our annual Canadian Thanksgiving feast, one of my guests, knowing that I was deep into the experimental phase of eliminating certain foods from my diet (to heal myself), said that she just couldn’t do what I was doing. So I asked, “I didn’t realize there were any foods that disagreed with your system.” Her: “Oh, yeah there are, but I eat them anyway and pay the price the next day.”
To me that’s CRAZY, insane even. I told her that I thought so. 🙂
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~Albert Einstein
Except in this case I don’t think people are expecting different results. And we call THAT normal?! Only because the masses are doing it. If everyone is doing it, then it must be OK.
After that conversation, I started asking other people if there were foods or drinks that they knowingly consumed which caused a delayed negative reaction. One person told me that they would eat certain foods knowing that they would have to be practically connected to the toilet for the following three days. “OH! But it’s so worth it going down.”
This is the original more familiar version of the famous song Crazy – by Gnarles Barkley. I’ve transcribed the lyrics below so you can read or sing along. While looking for the song I came across this slower version, which is outstanding. I have posted the link here in case you want to have a listen.
“I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo In so much space
And when you’re out there Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch, But it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough
I just knew too much
Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy?
Possibly [radio version] Probably [album version]
And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that’s my only advice
Come on now,
Who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you’re in control
Well, I think you’re crazy, I think you’re crazy, I think you’re crazy
Just like me
My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it’s no coincidence I’ve come, And I can die when I’m done
Maybe I’m crazy, Maybe you’re crazy, Maybe we’re crazy
What a powerful post! To add to your thoughtful post, I think of being “true to who you are” as making a commitment to ourselves. It means acknowledging what is true for us, when we are and are not being or living it. Our bodies are finely tuned vessels that signal when we’re being true (and not) to ourselves.
Being mindful of how we are experiencing our body, what it is saying or communicating to us through sensations, emotions, intuitive hits and symptoms is part of this journey.
I wonder if living in a culture/society that separates out body from mind and spirit also adds to this mythology of normal. Once you’re deeply connected to your mind, body and spirit, the question of normalcy vanishes into one’s self-esteem, confidence and inner wisdom.
Ruth! I really like everything you said. These two sentences sure opens up an interesting conversation: “I wonder if living in a culture/society that separates out body from mind and spirit also adds to this mythology of normal. Once you’re deeply connected to your mind, body and spirit, the question of normalcy vanishes into one’s self-esteem, confidence and inner wisdom.”
Thanks for leaving this great comment.
Very thought provoking article with interesting backup references. You could be a teacher! Well you are…. Lorraine : )
Thanks for posting this, normal these days in many cases equals a sorry human being. Your examples are great, I see them every day.
YOU are so right about this. It is easy for me to abstain from non-food now that it’s out of my system and I feel great, the hard part is dealing with people who can’t respect my choice. I’m not forcing my choice on anyone but share what I’ve learned in order to help others. Why should anyone else be mad if I don’t eat Pizza or fried food or any other junk? Who is it hurting? Not me, that’s for sure. People say ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’, but still don’t. Sigh. Thanks for letting me rant, I feel better now.
P.S. I love your new Facebook pictures, they’re great!
Thanks, Mary Lou.